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So, I’ve been trying to become a runner. For like, ten years.
And, I’ve had my ups, I’ve had my downs, but I’ve never really managed to push through the 5k range, and by “push through” I mean I train long enough to get through 3.1, and then basically quit.
But I’ve been giving it another go. Running makes me feel like I’m doing something with this body I have, it makes me feel like I’m moving forward. It makes me feel like I’m taking on things that are outside of my comfort zone and can still kind of work toward.
This post isn’t about why I run or don’t run or why that’s hard for me. What it is about is the thoughts I had today when my brain was doing everything it could to make me STOP running.
Today, I ran 3.1 miles. Which, I’ve done before, but not for a while and the training program I’m on is pretty ambitious (for me, all the real runners out there would be laughing there little feet off, most likely 3 miles ahead of me). When I run I try to bring awareness to my breath, to my body, and especially to my thoughts. And at about 2.1 miles, my thoughts were saying “You don’t have to do this”. The next thought was “Why?”.
It was a perfect “Blerch” moment. The Blerch was telling me that I’d done enough, that I could stop. But there was another piece of me that knows I won’t be able to run 6.2 in August if I don’t run 3.1 now. And there, I was confronted with the best #PsychTrick that Noom can teach you. Acceptance.
This is a Noom strategy that basically teaches you to stay in whatever agony you’re currently in. Not to make your life worse but to help you learn about what that actually feels like, and whether it’s actually all that bad. It basically means you have to find a way to just be. Even when that isn’t perfect, even when it’s really, really, hard. Because pain, cravings, urges, thoughts, are all momentary.
I pushed through my run today. I was alone, I was tired and out of breath, and I had this terrible cramp in my right abs the last mile. But I breathed through it, I accepted the pain and boredom. And those minutes were minutes that I both became a better runner, and built better willpower habits.
I want to keep being that person. It’s super important that I remember how I got here. There are environmental forces like the Whole30 that allowed me to hone my cooking and food choices, and especially Noom that opened my eyes to the small steps I could take to make my health goal work.
That’s where the work gets done. The work doesn’t get done when you feel good. It gets done when you want to stop running but you don’t. It, honestly, doesn’t even start until you start pushing through something difficult.
What are you pushing through right now? What is clouding your vision? What is your Blerch telling you that you’re fighting off? Let me know in the comments :).